Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Shitcanned-tivities #5: Obsessively Tear Out Recipes from Sunset Magazine...

then place each recipe in a 3-hole punch, clear sheet protector and organize them in a binder in the following categories:
  • Fancy Salads I'll Only Make When Guests Come Over
  • Fancy Meats I'll Try to Make When Guests Come Over
  • BBQ I'll Actually Make When Guests Come Over
  • Cutesy Baking Shit I'll Never Make Even Guests Come Over Because I'm Just Not Wired To Be A "Cutesy Baking Shit" Person. Ugh, I'd have to blow my candle and wine glass budget on tins and pans and Crisco and then there's flour everywhere...
  • Booze
Right now, I'm now enjoying a Shaved Artisan Ice Pomegranate Mango Mojito Breeze with take-out.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Social Network Spring Cleaning

IF...
  • I have no idea who you are and we never met...
  • You live in a foreign country or speak a different language and I have no idea who you and we never met...
  • You need to post everything you ever do during the day and I have no idea who you are and we never met...
  • Your profile pic is an eight year-old black and white headshot...
  • You posted way too much glitter clip art on my page...
  • Your bar or restaurant closed two years ago...
  • Your show closed two years ago...
  • Your sketch group or band broke up two years ago...
  • You last logged into your account two years ago...
I released you from my MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter accounts. Please don't take it personally, it's just all too much! I'm not really reading your status updates, tweets or looking at your pics. I'm not coming to your show because I live thousands and thousands of miles away. I'm not joining your fan group because we are equally not famous and unsuccessful, and I am not your fan, I am your peer. After cleaning out all the self-promotion clutter, it's so lovely to really see and appreciate the collection of real people that matter in my life: family, friends, former co-workers, teachers, and classmates, neighbors, performers and industry professionals whose work I actually know and love. So if you were able to see the Facebook status announcing this post, I know you and I like you and you matter to me. Don't get cocky though, everyone is one "Lil Green Patch" away from getting cut.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Goals

LA loves its goals. What's your plan? What do you want? How are you going to get it? What's your vision? What's your to-do list? What's your next step? Who do you want to meet? Are you holding yourself accountable? Are you a self starter? A grown up? Do you need to give someone else money to help you get your shit together? Do you need a goal group? Do you need a bunch of magazine cut outs of models, McMansions, and Oscars glue-sticked to a piece of cardboard to help get you out of bed everyday? Goals. Tasks. Progress. Forward movement. How are you spending your time in front of the laptop at Intelligentsia Coffee?! My goal this week is to actually prepare and eat the bags of produce I bought at Vons today. This time next week, I will not be scooping out brownish-green rot soup at the bottom of the fridge. Okay, so, Brussels sprouts, hmmm....

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