Today marks my first anniversary in LA! A year ago I was crying in JFK and schlepping too much luggage in Burbank. I look back at my life this time last year...and it sucked. I can't believe I did that to myself. I was lonely, I couldn't identify the smell coming out of the fridge in my sublet apartment, I spent my days watching people at Coffee Bean buying their coffee while talking on their cells and scurrying to their cars, envious of their busy and important lives, and I threw up a combination Peaches and Cream Instant Oatmeal and Hazelnut coffee on my way to look at one of many mauve wall to wall carpet-ed, mirrored closet-ed, broken ceiling fan-ed, shit hole apartments. Aside from serious illness and death, I went through every personal crisis one goes through during life in short, concentrated bursts of anxiety: I want my husband, clothes, and coffee mugs back and a home to put them in. I want friends. I want to stop seeking approval of those that would end up making very little difference in my life. I want Dunkin Donuts. I want more professional opportunities. I want more money. I want to fit in. I want validation that all this change is worth it. I don't know when the shift happen, but at some point I stopped wondering if I like LA and why I miss NY and started living. This month I did very little living (and even less blogging) and was just full-blown doing. I created a part-time organizing business and began shooting a short film I've been writing and re-writing since August. It didn't really matter that I had to sit in traffic, or that I want to hurl people that complain about rain into the non-existent LA river, or that I can't find a normal, regular size egg roll. After a year of of getting used to a new town, I can now enjoy a new life.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year! Happy New Decade! Happy One Month Shy of My First LA-versary! I like this time of year - even more now that I don't have to stand in the subway sweating through a coat, turtleneck, scarf, and ill fitting "work slacks." Right now everything feels full of promise and possibility. I haven't screwed anything up yet. Goals still seem attainable in the face of sleeping in and catching up on my DVR. Great big things might happen. Or perhaps I'll enjoy a consistent lull of nothing too awful happening. I feel like I should reflect upon this decade and outline the highs and the lows. Ten years ago I was preparing to start my second semester as a transfer student at NYU...and moving into my fifth dorm, and six months away of meeting my now husband. It's been sort of a blur since. This is my first decade I didn't have school years and semesters to divide my life. Basically 2003-2007 felt like one long year. And 2009 in LA felt like one long May.
- ▼ 2010 (23)