Top Faves at the Showbiz Expo

So I'm on a Virgin flight to NY and I might as well take advantage of being trapped in a tube and having the future at my fingertips. I'm having a hard enough time blogging from my dining room table, so I should really use my time in the sky wisely. I can't wait to spend the remainder of the flight watching the Real Chance of Love 2: Back in the Saddle marathon on VH1. If you're home in the afternoon watching this crap, you're sad waste of carbon. If you're on a cross country flight, you're a jet setter enjoying the airline's amenities. This past weekend I found myself at the LA Convention Center for the Showbiz Expo. I guess "showbiz" also includes teeth whitening services and fancy Port-a-Potty vendors. Here's my top 5 favorite people I met at the Expo:

1. The assholes that displayed their resumes filled to the brim with regional theatre...and their personal addresses.
2. The lady that wore a sandwich board of a blowup of her sex advice book cover and the request to make her book the new Sex and the City.
3. The lady at Starbucks that didn't ring up my bottle of water. I can't really say that I didn't get anything out of the Expo.
4. The man/lady we couldn't figure out is a man or a lady. Cross a biker dude with "Working Girl" hair.
5. The lady that had a booth advertising her vision board business. Maybe she needs a vision board of better business ideas.

Questions For LA #1

1. Why is not wearing a bra in public or at an audition an option? A droopy A cup is still a droopy boob, and the casting director and his camera can totally see some nip through that hippie Forever 21 shirt.
2. Why isn't there one normal nail salon anywhere on the east side of town with real pedicure chairs and tubs, manicure tables and separate dryer table? Why am I sitting in La-Z-Boy chair with my feet in a Sitz Bath while a portable dryer is resting on my lap? And why aren't you open on Mondays?
3. Why do Echo Park drivers wait for you to first make a left before they proceed straight or make a right turn? Are we just accepting and expecting we're all bad drivers that don't know the rules of the road? Or do some of us really not know the rules of the road...in America?
4. Why do I have to call you to follow up after I sent you an email weeks ago? You are a business and I'm trying to give you business, i.e. money. Check you fucking email and reply to your potential customers.
5. Where are the Breakstone's products? I miss Temp Tee cream cheese.